So, this is my first post on my first blog...which I never thought I'd have. But lately I find I need a better outlet for my thoughts and opinions than my journal, or my dog. I have a lot of trouble relating to my friends and family these days. Actually, I've always had a lot of problems relating to my friends and family in general. My friends aren't that smart and my family is filled with Jesus-y people. I am smart and not at all Jesus-y.
Somehow I thought that as I got older I'd eventually find "my people." You know, the people who think like I do. Not necessarily agree with everything I have to say, but who care to hear it and are willing to consider my opinions even if they end up rejecting them. But I've never been good at making friends so I've tended to stick with the circle of people I've known for a while, even though we've had less and less in common over time.
More and more I realize it's just familiarity that keeps me attached to them, not genuine interest, or even genuine affection, in some cases. I do love my family, but religiously, politically, and socially, I disagree with them in so many ways, it's hard to feel accepted by them if I express my real, true opinions. It usually leads to the proverbial awkward silence. So, I usually just don't express my differing opinions at all, which leads to some terrifically boring gatherings. At least for me. So, here I am. Ready to share my views with anyone else who cares to read them. I've used the name divadaisy on several fansites and messageboards over the years. Plus, I do think of myself as a diva. (With a little d, thank you...I may be a diva but I was raised to have a certain healthy humility.)
I have a strange kind of love for the world. It's a love/hate/love kind of thing. There is so much horror in this world, and humanity is the source of much of it. Most of it. But there is such beauty too. And humanity is the source of much of that as well. Sometimes it catches me off guard. A moment in time, or out of time, really, that causes my breath to catch. To stop. To hold because something so amazing has been done, or created, or written, or spoken. People can be so awful, but so excruciatingly beautiful.
